An Open Letter to Jonny on our 5th Anniversary

Sweet Jonny,
Happy 5 year anniversary my love. It seems like just yesterday, I was slipping into that white gown, and feeling all the butterflies as I prepared to see you at the end of the aisle. As I write this letter to you, I am laying on the grass with our son as the wind blows through the trees and brings a soft breeze on my skin. I am happy, for the first time in many years. Happiness that isn't without hardships, we have them. Moreso a happiness that is found despite the difficulties.

5 years ago when I became your wife, I had zero clue who you truly were. I thought I knew, I thought I understood. If I could go back, I would wrap my arms around Kelly Leonard and tell her that even though she thinks she loves you now, she will love you more when she really knows you. Which is odd, everything I did not know hurt me deeply and wounded us. Beyond repair some thought, BUT God knew better. He always does.

The Great Healer did a number on my heart, yours too my love. He healed, redeemed, set free and bound the wounds that were too deep for human hands to fix. Wounds from years before we ever met. Pride in my heart, addiction in yours. What a matchmaker He is. You and I, so different. How good He is to set our hearts fixed on Him, and one another to endure the hardest of times.

Now and then I catch myself staring at you, overwhelmed with love and adoration. You have worked so hard to overcome so many trials. You have conquered battles most have given up on in the middle of the fight. Although you are not perfect, you are mine. When you walk in the door, my heart swells up with pride for you. I have seen first hand what it has taken you to be where you are now. You are a faithful husband, quality friend, a successful businessman, and leader of men. You are a treasure that I am so glad I have had the honor or finding.

I guess this letter is a thank you to you as well. Thank you for not giving up on me. I said things I regret, I shared your story when it was not mine to share. I hurt you too, and I am so sorry. Thank you for never ever giving up on me. Thank you for taking my hand in the darkness and leading me to Jesus, and reminding me that though WE CANNOT, HE CAN.

Now we have a son. He is a beautiful, happy boy. I think of him as our Ebeneezer - "a stone of help." Referred to in the Bible as a reminder of what God has done (1 Samuel 7:12). Scotty is our reminder that when we thought our story was over, God stepped in and healed all the brokenness. He gave us the strength to go on, and then blessed us with a child. 2 years ago, we were in a dark, lonely place of hurt and confusion.
Now, he is here. Gods kindness to us my love.

I love you Jonny. You are kind, gentle, a strong leader and a wise friend. I admire you and look up to you. Our boy is so blessed to have you as his daddy. Thank you for choosing me, every day.
I will choose you, and continue choosing you all my days.

Until my last breath,
Ellie

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