Happy Birthday My Love
I met Jonny in college. I remember seeing him in a coffee shop on campus, he was wearing my favorite blue flannel, jeans and he had a laptop bag. I remember thinking that he was way to cute to have a laptop bag. This man needed a backpack or something besides a man purse. He grabbed a double stack peanut butter and jelly and a coffee, and waved hello to me. We had known each other from a few years back, and was surprised to see him back on campus. We exchanged hello's but I didn't really know anything about him, except that his green eyes were crazy beautiful.
A few months later, we got placed on the same team to go to Indonesia and I got to know him as the weeks went by. He had a new girlfriend and had turned his life around, and decided to follow Jesus and leave the booze, women and drugs behind. I was drawn to him, but not in a romantic way. Our stories were so different that I admired him for choosing the road less traveled. Each week at our training for our trip, he would amaze me with his knowledge of the gospel and his heart for the nations. He had decided to change his major to Christian studies, over business, which added another year of schooling to his already behind schedule, but he didn't mind. My admiration for him continued to grow.
We left on our trip and before we knew it we were serving overseas together, sharing the gospel, and singing worship songs with our team on a daily basis. Again, he had a girlfriend, so our friendship was strictly FRIENDS. But we were drawn to each other.
Our lives haven't been the same since Indonesia. We came home and a week later, he ended his relationship and a few weeks later told me he planned to marry me.
A year later we were married.
Our marriage has not been anything like what I have dreamed. That man has broken my heart more times than I can count. But I love him. I love him for his brokenness. I love him for his weakness. I love him for the pain he carries. I love every part of him. His smile can change my entire day. When he holds me, all the pain I am carrying, all my fear and worries seem to diminish in his arms, because his calming words bring peace to my worried little mind.
Jonny is unlike any man I know. He's messed up so many times, but will not be defined by his failures. He hurts deeply, but he wouldn't ever let you know. His heart belongs to the Lord, yet the enemy is real and has put up a good fight to destroy his life. He's had diagnosis that have stolen his joy, and addictions that he is ashamed of. Yet, he won't give up. Jonny always fights, he may have been knocked down 7 times, but the 8th time he will stand right back up, dusting off the dirt and starting over. I'm so proud of him for that.
I am proud to be his wife. I am proud to know him. I feel blessed to be the woman who falls asleep in his arms every night. I feel lucky that when I can't sleep at night, I can tap his shoulders and he opens his arms wide and wraps me up, kisses my forehead, prays for me, and falls back asleep. I feel fully known by him with all my flaws, all my ugly, yet fully loved for the woman I am and have become.
I have hope that our marriage brings hope to other couples who have walked a similar journey. I hope that we can be a testament of never giving up. I haven't given up. Jonny hasn't given up. However, our story would not be our story if we had chosen differently.
Jonny Tillery, I choose you. I love you, in all of your pieces. On good days and bad. I choose you for better or for worse. I choose you for richer or for student loans. I choose you for pain, or for beauty. I choose you for diabetes or for health. I choose you. All day, every day. I want you and only you for the rest of my life. I deeply desire you and love you with every single fiber of my being.
Happy Birthday my love. Praying that 29 is your best year yet.
I love you.
A few months later, we got placed on the same team to go to Indonesia and I got to know him as the weeks went by. He had a new girlfriend and had turned his life around, and decided to follow Jesus and leave the booze, women and drugs behind. I was drawn to him, but not in a romantic way. Our stories were so different that I admired him for choosing the road less traveled. Each week at our training for our trip, he would amaze me with his knowledge of the gospel and his heart for the nations. He had decided to change his major to Christian studies, over business, which added another year of schooling to his already behind schedule, but he didn't mind. My admiration for him continued to grow.
We left on our trip and before we knew it we were serving overseas together, sharing the gospel, and singing worship songs with our team on a daily basis. Again, he had a girlfriend, so our friendship was strictly FRIENDS. But we were drawn to each other.
Our lives haven't been the same since Indonesia. We came home and a week later, he ended his relationship and a few weeks later told me he planned to marry me.
A year later we were married.
Our marriage has not been anything like what I have dreamed. That man has broken my heart more times than I can count. But I love him. I love him for his brokenness. I love him for his weakness. I love him for the pain he carries. I love every part of him. His smile can change my entire day. When he holds me, all the pain I am carrying, all my fear and worries seem to diminish in his arms, because his calming words bring peace to my worried little mind.
Jonny is unlike any man I know. He's messed up so many times, but will not be defined by his failures. He hurts deeply, but he wouldn't ever let you know. His heart belongs to the Lord, yet the enemy is real and has put up a good fight to destroy his life. He's had diagnosis that have stolen his joy, and addictions that he is ashamed of. Yet, he won't give up. Jonny always fights, he may have been knocked down 7 times, but the 8th time he will stand right back up, dusting off the dirt and starting over. I'm so proud of him for that.
I am proud to be his wife. I am proud to know him. I feel blessed to be the woman who falls asleep in his arms every night. I feel lucky that when I can't sleep at night, I can tap his shoulders and he opens his arms wide and wraps me up, kisses my forehead, prays for me, and falls back asleep. I feel fully known by him with all my flaws, all my ugly, yet fully loved for the woman I am and have become.
I have hope that our marriage brings hope to other couples who have walked a similar journey. I hope that we can be a testament of never giving up. I haven't given up. Jonny hasn't given up. However, our story would not be our story if we had chosen differently.
Jonny Tillery, I choose you. I love you, in all of your pieces. On good days and bad. I choose you for better or for worse. I choose you for richer or for student loans. I choose you for pain, or for beauty. I choose you for diabetes or for health. I choose you. All day, every day. I want you and only you for the rest of my life. I deeply desire you and love you with every single fiber of my being.
Happy Birthday my love. Praying that 29 is your best year yet.
I love you.
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