Every Detail

I woke up early this morning. Early 5:30am. Reason you ask? My husband needed lunch for work. I hate spending money on lunch out when there is adequate  food in the fridge. I normally do this wonderful task of lunch making at night. But sometimes, sometimes we watch The million dollar arm till we fall asleep on the couch, and then we drag ourselves up the stairs. Right about the time I have gotten all cozy in my sheets, I remember. HIS LUNCH!!!  I contemplate for about 5 minutes whether I will get up and make it, or wake up when I hear the shower turn on and surprise my husband with not only lunch, but breakfast too!

Now, you might be thinking, what a great wife. Well if you knew the words my heart were whispering at o-dark thirty... you would think otherwise.

I sent him off at 5:50am to barely make it to work on time and I decided that my body was too awake to go back to sleep, so I put on some workout clothes, and hopped in my car to drive to a nearby mountain to walk it, to get a change of scenery for my morning walks.

It was looking a little scary at 6:15am while the darkness still poured over the mountains, I made a choice to grab some hot tea and read my bible before hiking the mountain. I am too young to die by a mountain lion so early in the morning.

Herbal tea and Psalm 37 soothed my soul as i watched the clouds begin to part and let the sunshine make its daily debut.

Psalm 37:23
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they will stumble the will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Every detail.
Really Lord? How can you know every detail of 7 billion people?

Then I hear him "My child, Because I am God."

I sink in my seat. Every detail. Every ugly thought, every doubt, every fear, every insecurity. Every evil thing I have wished on another. Every jealousy. Every victory, every song I sing.
EVERY DETAIL people.

Mind blown.

I can't explain the way the Holy Spirit moves in me. I just know that He does. I hear Him, not audibly, but He is there. His voice is calm & reassuring. Gentle & kind. The other voices are demanding, harsh, rude & leave me full of doubt and fear.

"You're not good enough," "If you lost weight, your husband would like you more," If you worked out more, you would be more pretty," "Your struggles will always be with you." these are just a few of the billion insecurities I wrestle with on a daily basis. I know that is NOT my Jesus.

My Jesus combats those lies with:

"You're my child. I do not make mistakes," "You are a masterpiece, fearfully & wonderfully made," "I have given you a husband who delights in you, and who loves Me & you."  " You are enough."


He knows every detail, and He loves me still.
Like I said earlier, my mind was blown this morning when I read that passage.

The Kelly version said "I know you, I love you Kelly, I know everything you think about. I forgive your trespasses against me, and I am growing you, shaping you to learn to trust me more."

It was a beautiful moment.

Bask in that beauty today, He knows every detail, and He loves us just the same.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Pregnant

There are moments you wait for your whole life. Ones that seem to pause all of time for just a brief second, when all is right with the world.  This post is not one about one of them. A few weeks ago I thought that I was pregnant.  I had some of the symptoms, and was late. I remember telling Jonny, "babe, I think I might be pregnant." He's so optimistic. "No, you can't be. WAIT.  Do you really think you are?"  I was extremely anxious. I started planning how perfect it would be if I was pregnant. Jonny would even rub my tummy saying "If you're in there, I love you so much." But then I would doubt everything and it was just overwhelming. We were in Texas with my family and I was trying to keep every emotional breakdown that I was having to myself. I was shopping with my mom and Jonny  at wal mart for some groceries and Jonny headed to the check out stand beforehand and got a pregnancy test. Bless his heart he bought the digit...
Read more

Thursday Morning Walks

For the past year or so I have walked on thursday mornings with friends. Two beauties in particular who walk the 1.72 miles around the block with me. We meet around 7 in the morning so that we can still have time to get ready for work and the day ahead. Usually we text each other the night before and make sure that we are still on for the next morning, to make sure that we aren't sick or need extra sleep due to the craziness of life. I've come to find that these Thursday mornings are precious to me. As the sun creeps through the trees, and wind gently blows in our faces we connect in a way that we may not have if we didn't wake before the sunrise to meet each other and walk. The girls I walk with, I've known for years. I've known them as young women entering college. I've mentored them, they've mentored me. We've cried together, we've laughed together, we have lived life together. I've watched them date the men they are married to now, I went...
Read more

A 3 Year Old Ring

Image
A few years ago on January 26, it was raining. It was cold and blustery. I remember wanting to wear a dress to a combined birthday party for my husband and nephew.  However due to the rain, I had to wear jeans & a coral sweater. I was frustrated, but #life. I remember showing up and being disappointing that it wasn't a surprise engagement party. I remember my friend said " Not everything is about you." The party was fun! If you know the Tillery's you know they go big for parties! Catered food, a live band, heck even a photographer to capture every bite of cake my nephew puts in his mouth. The rain had kept most of us inside, or inside my father in law's wine cave. Yes, you read right, he has a cave full of wine- of course there are other things, but mostly wine. The sun had begun peeking through the clouds in the later part of the afternoon, and my mom and dad decided to head home so they could miss the next onset of rain and make it home sa...
Read more