Lovely Lee

I turn 25 on Thursday. Yes, I know it is also Thanksgiving. But, Hello! I'm turning 25 YEARS OLD. I'm kind of freaking out. While I am more than happy to kick 24 to the curb as the hardest year of my life, 25 is a big deal. My husband has offered to take me to a lovely dinner and buy me a watch of my choice tomorrow night to celebrate, since Turkey dinner wasn't exactly on my wish list. I am excited, and I'm looking online for dresses for the special occasion. What does a 25 year old wear? Short, long, lace, deep V? I don't know. I feel like I am about to enter some uncharted waters of 25. It's almost daunting. 5 more years will be thirty and then we will blink our eyes and I will be 80. Seriously people. This is cra- people. Absolutely cra-. ( for you older folks, CRA= Crazy.) Like I said earlier, 24 has been a hard year. Like haard. Quite honestly, by the grace of Jesus Christ and Him alone, I have made it through some of my toughest nights, and darke...

I laugh at people who say this, I really do. I mean there are millions of books out there. Who would really read my story ? I'm not sure who will. Maybe no one will. I think I can count on 4 people who would actually read my book. My husband. My Father. My Mother and Chelsea. These people would read my book. They know my story, but not each detail. My husband knows a lot about me, but so much of who I am was molded before I met and married him. My parents, they groomed me for the big bad world, but they will never know how their love & support has shaped my life. Chelsea wrote a book that she would read to us every week at starbuks in our small group in high school. It has since been published and I cried as I read through it. She even made me a character in her book. The thing is, I have a story to tell. It's a messy one, but it is a beautiful one. I have a masters degree, it may not be in English, but i think with a few million people to edit my book one day...

and no. I don't mean the target brand :) Last week was a tough week. my "truth is" post was written from a dark place of discontentment and hurt. I even thought about deleting it, but then reminded myself, sometimes life is hard. Trying to ignore it would be silly. I enjoyed a lovely weekend with my husband and my parents. These days, I am learning. I am growing. It hurts, but there is so much beauty. SO MUCH BEAUTY. The woman I am becoming is someone I am fighting for on a daily basis. Some days I don't get anywhere and other days I can see growth, I can feel it. I feel the sweat after a good workout, or tears after a good cry, or the smile after my husband has done something incredibly funny to make me laugh. Life is good. Life is hard. I'm learning to embrace the hard instead of running from it. Photos from the weekend! Thanks Dani & Eric for getting married so I had an excuse to dance with my husband to Michael Buble, and shake it like a wild hooli...

Truth is, I'm tired. Not physically, or spiritually, but mentally & emotionally. Truth is, I'm not satisfied. I desire so much more in this life. I'm not content, and it drives me bonkers when everyone keeps telling me to "just be content." Because quite frankly I am not content with a lot of things in my life. There are so many things I wish that I could change. Truth is, I don't feel understood. I fell like I can talk to people and they hear me, but they don't understand me. Except for my mom & dad (those two are saints, and Tracy, she is God send.) Truth is I miss leading worship at my old church. I miss the freedom that came from singing at the top of my lungs with every ounce of energy that I had to give back to the Lord.Then hearing people worshiping with me. Gosh those were beautiful days. Truth is, I've noticed myself becoming more and more judgmental & cynical, and I hate it. Truth is, I've changed, and I don't know wh...

Last Thursday morning, I text Jonny. I said "Can we go to the Grand Canyon this weekend?" It was random. I expected a " no " simply because it had been a long week and he probably wanted to get some rest. BUT. He replied "Sure Ellie! That sounds like fun!" The rest is history... I love us. I live that man, I love our story & the hardships that have brought us so much closer together & to the Creator of that BEAUTIFUL canyon behind us. My guy. The Lord sure knew what he was doing when he blessed me with him. He loves me, so well. This picture may be my favorite. Simply because this is us. Frickin Weird. and, I love it. And just like that in 48 hours we drove lots of miles, stayed at one interesting hotel in Flagstaff, Arizona & ate at Cracker Barrell (eh-hem) 3 times. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner. It was perfect. I am southern girl at heart and that place feeds my soul so well. This weekend was blissful. I miss seeing my ...